First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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