What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize