biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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