I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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