That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
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Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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