There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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