Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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