Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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