How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
The struggles of a small town man whore
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
