theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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