Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do herpes really smell.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
