Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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