There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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