YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
