And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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