my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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