I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
