The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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