She announced her abortion via fbk
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
