this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
