I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
