As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
