I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
