Dual....:-)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
