So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
