Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
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Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
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Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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