Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
