life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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