Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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