We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
