Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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