And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
this just has baby written all over it
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
