I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
