the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
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Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
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And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize