that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
