Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
