Pappa wants mamma naked
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
