this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
