Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize