My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
