If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
