Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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