Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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