I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Please, let me fuck your mom
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
