nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
