she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
