What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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