you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
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