She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
