Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
