wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
