you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
