It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
