A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
