I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Actions speak louder than pants.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
