another moral hangover. fuck.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
