p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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