I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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