ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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