I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
