Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
