The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
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i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
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Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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