Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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