Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize